High School Drama.

I had this feeling of true freedom when I moved up here to go to school. I felt like I was completely void of all drama, problems, immaturity, and just plain stupidity. Boy was I wrong! Over the past few weeks I have been dealing with more high school drama than I dealt with my junior AND senior year when I was actually in high school!! When will it all stop?!? I mean come on, who still spreads rumors about someone that moved 150 miles away?! Honestly, it's so dumb. I just don't get it. This girl is my boyfriend's ex so of course there was going to be some drama there. But I thought it'd be over with once I moved away and that she'd leave me alone. Unfortunately she's still very immature and stupid and didn't think that was the case. She's been telling people at my old school that I had an intimate relationship with a teacher at that school who I looked to as a great role model. Unfortuately for me, a lot of people believed it. Now I'm here in college trying to live my life and I'm getting text messages and emails on my myspace about this from her and her friends telling me that she's completely innocent. Dumb right? If she was so innocent then why would she be trying to convince me so much? Plus, every person I've asked told me it was her. It's so annoying. It's just plain stupid. I'm soooo done with high school, so why does it seem like high school isn't done with me x.x? What is it about high school that just screams out DRAMA?! Yuck.

Assignment for April 22nd, 2008

My topic, homophobia, was not as defined as I hoped it would be but it was still present. In the very beginning of the movie when Ringo and Yolanda are discussing how to hold up the restaraunt, Yolanda is very friendly to the waitress that brings them more coffee. The waitress seems kind of uncomfortable and leaves. Also in the beginning where Vincent and Jules are talking about how Marsellus killed a man for giving his wife a foot massage, there is a part where they get onto the topic of how insignificant a foot massage is. It later goes on to Vincent questioning Jules if he would let a man give him a foot massage and Jules gets angry and freaks out.

Tarantino's style is confusing at times, yet really effective. It ensures that you pay attention to each small part in order to fully understand the whole movie. It is almost a representation of how life really happens. Everything is connected to something else and nothing really happens the way you expect it or in any particular order. He didn't make the movie happen with just one story, he made sure to incorporate all effects of everyone's actions. It's almost like a butterfly effect with his movies.

I think the most important thing I've taken from this film is that actions aren't set in stone. If something happens, it will trigger another action and so forth and so forth. The people you meet and the experiences you have all are significant to who you are as a person and everyone should embrace that.

Jackie's Challenge on post from April 14th

I take my shattered wings that you gave me and heal.
Once I used to sing and dance but you made me shout and scream.
You forced me to pick a side; you couldn't just let me be
and I am lost and confused in the darkness of your hatred.
I wish I could defeat you, but that doesn't mean I won't try.
I'll fight to the end.

I've run to a place where the ocean sings and the sun
kisses my skin as I play.
Someplace where you'll never be able to hurt me again.
But I cannot stay because I am grabbed back to reality and I feel
the pain and I see the stains of blood where you lashed out again.
I remember the days where I could sit by the window and watch
the rain without feeling the sting on my back or the slap on my face.

You are nothing.
You are NOTHING!
What kind of man beats a girl?!
I will never die. You will not be the end of me.
I will be the end of you.

Weekend Bliss

This weekend was a great one. On Friday I went down to Phoenix to see my little brother and my family at my brother's band banquet ceremony. It was a lot of fun. I got to spend time with my family as well as see friends that I haven't seen in a while. Then we went to go visit my uncle, aunt and cousins. I was very happy to see my cousin Victoria who just turned 13 on Thursday. She's like my mini me. We spent some time there and then went to visit Matt's mom because she just moved out of our place into her friends place. We were both glad to see her; it's not the same at our place without her. We came back up that night and went to bed. The next day I got a call from Victoria Secret telling me that I got the job I wanted =D. Then Matt and I went to Sedona with our friends Matt and Christy where we hiked and shopped around the little stores in town. We then went back to our place and played this game called Dirt and it was tons of fun. On Sunday Matt worked and I basically cleaned the house and did some homework. I then went shopping for work clothes. It was a nice, relaxing weekend. I definitely needed it.

Assignment: April 16th, 2008

"I laid the foundation
With as much care
As I could manage.
Arranging the stones
Covering the weak spots
Day by week by accident
I kicked a hole in the wall
Didin't hurt the wall, just
Made it colder. I
Tried to make it look
Better on the outside,
Straighten the siding, but
The nails had rusted from
The moisture inside.
I'll hang a picture
Over the hole, the
One of you at the piano
Writing your first solo."



My writing:

The sunflowers are growing again. Do you remember that one time that we were playing and you got stung by the bee? Then you stuck your arm in the pond to calm the burning and momma had to come pull it out of you.

I still have every memory of you in my mind, you know. And though all that's left of you is your letters from far far away, you're still here next to me...forever and ever.

Runaway.

There is a private little thing with stained glass wings
that calls out and shouts and sings.
In the darkness she abides moving along with the tides
spinning and winning and choosing the side
That she wishes to defend.
She can no longer pretend.
This is not the end.

On sparkling waves she swims and plays
freely in the dancing sun.
Yet not far away she sees the bay
and knows she must return home again.
Her free colored wings and miraculous things
remind her of better times
When the clouds poured no rain and the stain
of the blood on the carpet wasn't made.

And here she flies up to the skies on nothing but lies
and figures out, she never dies.

Extended Argument.

My topic for my extended argument is social issues in the education environment/classroom. I feel that there are things that should not be discussed in a classroom setting depending on the age of the students and/or the maturity of the students. I plan to argue against it by using personal opinions from interviews and surveys, plus information from journals, articles, and books.
Oh! If you guys could help by taking my survey it would be greatly appreciated. It is confidential and for my research purposes only. Thanks!
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=1rkGYLuObjzzS_2fyb0fHWVw_3d_3d

Solitude.

What is it about solitude that allows us to connect and embrace our inner life?
Perhaps it's the green vines that intertwine and make love to the fluorecent light that feeds them...
or maybe it's the kindred spirits of friendship between the clouds in the sky.
It could be the eyes of a young lover or the heart on his sleeve reflecting his pain
and misunderstanding of why the love of his life is tongue-tied with Satan himself.
It could be the very words on the paper that jump out and kiss my heart
like no human being can.
Or maybe, just maybe it's because the sun is bright, the sky is blue, and everything is wonderful.

Something Different.

I'm doing something different for this blog. I apologize for no poetry this time. Today I almost got in my first car accident. I've only had my license since this past December because my parents were both too paranoid to teach me to drive when I first got my permit. I feel a little sort of resentment against them because I have often felt very unprepared for driving amongst other people. However, I did end up learning because of my boyfriend and I am very grateful for that. Anyways, today I was driving back from the store when I zoned out for not even a few seconds as I was looking for a speed limit sign. In those 2 seconds the car in front of me had slammed on their brakes and stopped because of a person jay-walking. Luckily I was going a little under the speed limit and I stopped just in time. I was still a few feet away from the car in front of me but I was so scared. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. It made me think about how fast things can happen in life and that we should cherish every minute we have. I know that even if I were to hit that car in front of me I would not have died. Sure I would've gotten a little hurt but I'm betting that things would've been okay. However, if something like that can happen so fast, anything can happen that fast. I'm just grateful that I got home safely and that no one got hurt.

Honesty.

It's unnerving to say the least...that nothing can compare to you.
Suppose I tell the truth...I would not do it justice.
I could not express in words the way your eyes sparkle in the summer sun
nor the song of your smile on a silent day.
I could not describe the velvet of your touch nor the laughter of your kiss.
Suppose I lie and withhold my heart; will I be true to myself? Or will I save myself the pain?
Those times I lay beside you in the dark awaiting the light of the morning glow, I can say
nothing to how my mind percieves you...an angel in the sunrise.
So tell me this, what is honesty that causes pain? What is it about you that I can't let go of?
The dulcet taste of your love has impressed upon my heart
and left a scar to not be healed.
I'll dream of you...forevermore.

Untitled.

A sudden infusion of nerves and I know that you are there,

Inside me, connected.

I do not doubt you must feel it too.

It is immediate, eternal, inexplicable and unreasonable;

This cannot be! You do not love me or love another.

(Both are the same, though I rationalize the distinction.)

How then do we two still exist, connected as tin-can strings?

(I feel it awake, asleep, of great import, background to all and also shining imperious foreground.)

Can it be these stars have crossed by choice?

Nay and never, but tangled only.

Death, My Soulmate.

I once took a walk with Death along the beach, right next to a set of single footprints in the fine-grained earth. I dared not glance at him for fear of losing myself in his glorious eyes. We walked hand-in-hand along the shore, listening to the waves and watching the horizon's elegant light show. He glanced over at me and I made sure not to look. As he caressed my face I felt the urge to turn and embrace him. He pulled me close to him and I let myself melt into his arms...knowing that I would never reach the light of heaven nor the flames of hell. I would forever stay lost in his touch...his eyes...his words. He stared into my eyes and I saw his fear...I felt his panic. Slowly he began to let me go and I fought fiercely. I couldn't hold on any longer...he had let me go.
I heard the voices of the doctor and my family members calling out to me...and yet I wept. I wept for my heart...for the pain of knowing that I cannot be with him yet. Until the day he comes for me...I'll dream.